I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Blood and glitter go together right?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
