i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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