I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
You can't motorboat a personality
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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