I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
