id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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