It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize