My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
