her vagine was all disorganized.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
