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69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
