There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
ttyl tear gas
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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