On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
