2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
