I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize