next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
