if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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