You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
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I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
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He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
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