Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize