He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
