I showed him my bush... on skype.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
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Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
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Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
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