you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
