I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
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