why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Randomize
