Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
