so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
