everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
