i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
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I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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