guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
