i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
