Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
