I cannot find my penis.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
