don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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