is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
