Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
