worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
