the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
