I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
