problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
