You can't motorboat a personality
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Randomize
