Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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