GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
