Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
