I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
