Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
