You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
