wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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