drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
