i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
