Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
