I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
