unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
