Don't you send me to vm
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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