Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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