Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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