Having a random hookup so left but love u
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
