the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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