Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
