ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
should my penis look like a turkey
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
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