You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
