is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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