apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
no. you can't hotbox the world.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
