I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Found your dick twin last night
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
