when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
