How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Randomize
