Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
