I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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